The thoughts I have running through my mind are so many i cannot isolate them individually. He is there…always. is he safe? Is he happy? Why can i not be?the pain that runs through me is intense-memories of his body and mine, his smile, the feel on his lips awaking me…seeing his eyes before me as he kisses me–the tenderness and caring he is capable of. it hurts so very much now. Today is painful.