Yesterday was a terrible day, despite the help i was given at church. Cigarettes, a hot bath, anda razor blade made life easier. Cutting is…such a release of the pent up negativity-it purges the soul, and leaves a mark upon your body where you let the negative out.like a door or window, you can see where the pain poured out of your body in crimson tears. It is not healthy-no–many diseases, infections and other problems come from this form of self-flagellation, but it is visible, it is catharsis. it is a return to sanity for me.since i keloid scar, i suppose i will need to get a 3/4 sleeve at some point-or sillier, the elbow to wrist series. no fuzzy bunnies there however. perhaps a battle scarred dragon, or the broken figure of my Savior with the right arm showing Him in His glory. we shall see.