Hello, my Joseph. It’s strange-mother’s day usually brings me down-but I even smiled at Mom’s star tonight as I said ‘Hi’ to her. You always introduced me as your mom-the only one who ever believed in you, trusted you and stayed on your side through it all – all your bullcrap, lies and thefts; all your problems, the ones you caused, the ones you stirred up. In that, yes, I have been very mother-like to you.
It still hurts that you even described me to your granddaddy as being “someone who helped me with my business”. Shit-you could have said friend, adviser, benefactor or the truth–easy mark, and lover.we were lovers for over 3 years, my Joseph…and you never once admitted it to anyone else. and before you say that you like your privacy, I will cry bullshit on that. You were very vocal in being with Kendall. with Krysta. With savannah. the only one you wouldn’t tell, as far as I have been able to find out, is me. because you were afraid of what I would do (cut you off from real love, your source of income, and your safety net).
I still love you Joe. I always will-i’ve told you this before. But God is cutting the soul ties between us so that you will not be able to drag me down again. My biggest dream is still that you will come home to me on the date you said you would. but grown. a man. with a soul, with a conscience, and with God working in and through you. I would be courted by you Joseph. my beautiful Joseph… But only under these circumstances. Should you wish to come to an understanding, should you wish to keep the courts away from you as I seek to regain that which is mine, you have only but to call. We can make arrangements to meet at an attorney’s office to draw up a repayment contract.
Always, my love.