So last night I had a date. the first “real” date in about 10 years. I had an enchanting evening. We sat, and just talked and talked and talked for hours. I had my first ginger brandy shot (very smooth, actually) which had the usual reaction that alcohol over a certain proof gives me, and I stayed next to him all night. Poor dear-if I have no Lunesta, I don’t sleep. ever. but just lying near someone, having an arm wrap around me; gentle kisses…it’s overwhelming. And on top of it all–I got to feel like i was actually pretty for once–the makeup I had purchased and Spackled on looked damned good–making my eyes the center point of my face. The clothing wasnt bad–hey, let’s face it, i dont have all that much to wear, but clean and fits goes a long way. I’m just actually afraid this wont happen again. I was more than likely too much, “me” for anyone to handle, let alone someone who, i’f I’m honest, I’ve had my eye on since 1992. I’d very much like to see this go further–much further, actually, but scaring someone off by being bonkers is not usually the way to start.
With no verbal stops–no filters, no way to bite it off before it gets out of my face…life gets harder and harder. and let’s face it. I’ve been alone for a long damned time. I am horny. I want to be touched. When someone comes along who is more concerned with my dubious virtue than I am, he’s a keeper, right? I want to see this go forward. I want that very much. And he is a gentle, warm, tender person (although I probably shouldn’t spread that around-I might get in trouble). So, for what it is worth, G, I really enjoyed myself, I hope you did as well, and I hope that you will push aside the aversion of being with someone who is insane to see if this can go anywhere.