Sometimes when you try to get to know someone, it’s a fleeting, casual thing and you know from the moment you bump elbows. Sometimes there is a possibility for more–and the instinctual part of your brain tells you to keep trying because in some way, you need each other. Maybe it’s just for someone to talk to, or to share stories with. Perhaps it’s the one person on the earth who shares your strange and weird addiction to paperweights shaped like lawn gnomes or stepladders.
I found someone who touched me–a resonance from so deep within my soul still feels the warm vibrations. He, like myself, gives of himself and accepts little to nothing in return. He, like myself, does not feel worthy of accepting anything for himself–making up for some sort of cosmic screw up that put us here. Last night we connected. I think something within him saw my sincerity as I urged him to accept what others need to give him. Do for him. It sounds like a cheesy way to lead up to an announcement of mind-blowing orgasms…but it is not. We did not have sex, nor did we make love. I held him as he slept, stroked his arms through his dreams until he calmed under my touch and prayed for healing. For both of us.
This morning, when we awoke, he did accept a gift from me–a kiss–something I know I am good at. We held each other before we had to get up and go our separate ways.
I pray as always, that we may grow toward each other. I know that I could fall and fall hard given an opportunity, but that is not what this is about right now. I want a friend–no I NEED a friend. We listen to music, watch tv and talk. And the talking got pretty intense last night.
You are part of my heart now–I want very much to be the one to show you how very much you are worth, Luv. And for you I am willing to take things as slow as you need.