I lay awake, wrapped in his arms and the tingly afterglow of satiation. Warmth spreads through my body as a blanket of lassitude covers me, rendering my limbs and torso heavy and unmoving. A spark lights within me-hope has come home to roost in my breast, and it is both a terrible burden and an ancient fear. My eyes flutter shut against my cheek, which lies upon his chest. The smell of his cologne wafts gently to my nose, carried on the wind of a ceiling fan. Knowing his arms surround me I give in to the temptation to sleep…to let down my guard…and I drift off.
She is in my arms and I cannot believe that this is the same girl I once knew so long ago. A woman who throws caution to the wind and tries with all she has to live, whether she has the world against her or not. She does not realize this but she is stronger than she knows-not just her sarcastic buffer agianst life, but genuinely able to handle herself in the bitter cold world. Her life has sucked as much as mine, though in a different manner and yet, she still seems to smile so very much–I do not understand that ability to do so. I determine to ask her what carries her on. Why does she smile? How the hell does she do it? Listening to her breathe my eyes grow heavy and I squeeze her one last time into my arms before i lean my head against hers and close my eyes. My heart stutters a beat-but no, I am not shocked with electricity…the stutter was all within my head and emotions. This bodes not well. I must stay alone for i do not deserve more. Turning my head so I can breathe the fragrance of her hair and body, I close my eyes and drift away to sleep.
Together they sleep, wrapped within each other’s arms and legs; a tangle of two bodies and souls becoming one. Her heart speeds and his slows to match the rhythm of the hers. His arms chase away the daily nightmares and hers pull him close to grant him succor, acceptance and love. When morning light crows through the window, they awaken in the same position they had fallen asleep in and realize that they had held each other close all night. He becomes agitated and she thinks perhaps he is reaching out to her and then pulling away. Nothing is to be decided this day, though it is hopefully something that will show itself soon. Love is meant to be durable; communication within its confines to be ever expanding. Was it love or lust or both? Time would reveal this to each of them, though someone from the outside might see it first. Both of them did not realize that they were worthy of love. Both would fight against it. Which of the three of them would win between the battle of hope, dreams and love?